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 Family Therapy

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klutzs rule!!
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Sat Aug 30, 2008 12:08 pm

I watched the family go crazy... it was going to be a LONG day...

I was glad about one thing--if Edward had bothered to read my mind while i was putting down my answers, then it would not really matter, except to confirm that i was telling the truth. if he could hear it at all... I always had a constant stream of music running through my head that drowned much of everything else out.

So, i saw the look on Dasha and Mic's face, and I could understand why Rana started cracking up. If i was in the mood to stir up some trouble, I would have been laughing along with her. Oh well. We had to do this thing, so i might as well be mature about it, I suppose...

I wanted to listen into what Dr. Dover was asking mom, dad, grandma, and grandpa, to see what form of torture was coming, but i decided that that stuff... was.... well, private, i guess. We all knew that mom and dad had a very... active relationship, because of all the kids. it was hard to keep track of how many sisters I had sometimes!

I sighed and waited. Rana had stopped laughing, though Kellan and Emmett looked like they were about to start up again. This was going to be a VERY long day.
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Miss Bree Cullen
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Sat Aug 30, 2008 2:56 pm

I swatted my Dad.

"Dad. Honestly. Leav-Just stop listening." He grinned at me and gave me a bear hug.

"Bree. Don't worry. I won't do anythi-"

Edward casually leaned against the door way.

Dad started to laughed again and Edward looked amused. Grampa Jazz had a funny look in his face. Oh no. He was getting the feelings from my Dad. And Kellan.

Edward smirked at me.

"Edward why are you here?" I hissed, he shrugged.

I sighed and sat on the couch next to Chace who pulled me onto his lap.

The room was really crowded. The whole family was here. And Edward. God. He was being really weird.

Grampa Jazz started to giggle. Oh. My. God. Giggle? He never giggled. Nor did he laugh that much. I looked around to see who was 'giggling'. Just he was. I shook my head and stared out the window. The clouds were getting greyer and greyer.

Mmm. Maybe we can play some baseball when we get home. I thought and glanced at Kathryn, she looked exhausted.

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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Sat Aug 30, 2008 3:36 pm

"So do we get to hear one anothers answers?" Alu asked eagerly. I smiled, she was just like her father. It was making me proud.

"Yes, in due time." Dr. Dover said, letting Alice and I stunned. If her parents were to read both of our forms, Alice would die from embarassement and as hard as it would be for me to confess... it would be embarassing for me too.

"Great!" she said, obviously happy.

"Nymphomaniacs! Thats them!" Edward laughed outside the room.

Alice stiffened and was looking whiter than she usually did making me worry for her. I leaned onto her and kissed her cheek, trying to calm her. I was sure that it would be fine. Edward had been married to Alice and he knew how she was and he also knew my thoughts. I was sure he wouldn't say anything... well I hoped at least.

"Whose a nymphomaniac Edward?" Carlisle asked. It was my turn to stiffen. Alice looked horrified and everyone stared at her. Even Jackson looked worried. I knew that if the Dr. Dover wasn't in the room she would have ran to Edward to threaten him to kill him if he answered honestly to Carlisle.

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Henry
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Sat Aug 30, 2008 7:01 pm

This room was weird. And I mean really weird.

Filled with idiots really...

I glanced around at all the faces in the room.

My Dasha was all enraged again. I kinda loved seeing her like this.

It's like...

I just want to.

Oh GOD Henry! Not now!

This is SO not the time and place!

I glanced at Dasha who was also looking at me.

All this sex talk made her um... you know.

I tugged her arm and she seemed to respond.

Like we were secretly communicating.

"Ummm, I gotta get out of here!" She declared, pretending to still be pissed.

"Dasha, please!" I followed her.

"Nymphomaniacs I tell you!" I head Edward scream as I left the room.
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Jackson Rathbone
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Sun Aug 31, 2008 3:38 am

1. Your sexiest feature
According to my wife... my hair... to me... well... lets just say that it's long and shaft like... and can be extended...

2. The physical feature for which you are most complimented
According to aluna, my Hair...

3. A place you have always wanted to make love
On desk... in an office...

4. A wonderful place you have made love
In my bed with my beautiful wife

5. A strange place where you have made love
Roberts room... we were house sitting... OH! and Uncle Aro's... that was entertaining... SHACKLES!!!!!!

6. A special place on your body that, when kissed or touched, feels unbelievably good
If its Alu... then its everywhere Wink

7. An Unfullfilled sex fantasy
Haven't have one those...

8. a Fulfilled sex fantasy
In roberts dressing room... dressed as Cedric Diggory and Alu dressed like Cho Chang... hehe... Lets just say I just about avada kadavrad her... Razz

9. A person you regret sleeping with
There was no one pror to alu

10. A person you regret not sleeping with
nope

11. An uninhibited lover you have been with
My Alu

12. Sex is...

A SEXY ROMP IN THE HAY!!!!!!! FAST FUN AND FURIOUS!!!

I was satified with my answers... I hope they would sufice... haha...
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Dasha Cavill
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Sun Aug 31, 2008 4:23 am

I walked off to the hallway and saw that Henry was following me.

He knew I was feeling all weird with all the sex talk.

And yes.

Weird meant totally horny.

I pulled the ends of his shirt and started kissing him.

"Not here." He said when our lips parted for air.

"Where?"

We were still kissing when Henry pointed at the broom closet.

"There." He smiled.

I giggled a little and ran with him to the broom closet and locked the door.

Now I have to change one answer on the form.

5. A strange place where you have made love

In your broom closet. Just before our session.


Suck on that!
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Alu Rathbone
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Sun Aug 31, 2008 4:41 am

"Maybe I should continue with you guys." Dr. Dover said. "The pairs of yous... have a very active sex life... more active then say the rest of them... Which is good... but one may say it's a bit much."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Mom asked.

"It may be a bit addictive for you guys."

"Addictive would be an understatement." I siad under my breath.

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Yeah... he's that important!

Alu Rathbone... Blood sweeter then wine, with just a hint of morphine.
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Tom

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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Sun Aug 31, 2008 5:49 am

Too addictive? I echoed in my head. He couldn't understand. He didn't have girls like ours.

Alice laughed at Alu's comment, surprising me. "And how could that be bad, Dr Dover?" she asked, smiling.

I smirked. That's my girl!, i thought. She was right, how could sex addiction be a bad thing? We weren't annoying anyone else ... well most of the time ... We were over 300 years old, 300 years of practice, so of course that we were addicted now!

Dr. Dover seemed disturbed by my love's question, he clearly disagreed with her.

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klutzs rule!!
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Sun Aug 31, 2008 4:00 pm

This was just weird.

Something was up with Edward... and I think we all knew where Henry and Dasha went... Or at least I knew that it was obvious...

Bree, Rana, and I shared a look. They looked just as concerned as i was about the mental health of my family.

Also, it was taking an awfully long time with Mom, Dad, Aluna, and Jackson. I wondered what was taking so long... I glanced at my watch, and was surprised. IT HAD ONLY BEEN FIVE MINUTES!!!!!! It felt like a century already! I groaned out loud, drawing some strange looks, lots of rolled eyes, and a few sympathetic looks.

I was getting bored already, so I pulled out my ipod and started to listen to music. I was going to need the distraction. Plus, i wanted to drown out the not so discreet sounds coming from the broom closet outside.

THis was going to be a VERY long day.
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Larai
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Sun Aug 31, 2008 6:14 pm

I close my eyes and rub my temples. Everyone is really getting on my nerves right now.

I sigh and wish that I wasn't here. Kat groans kinda loudly so I look over at her questiongly. She points to her watch as she turns on her iPod.

5 minutes.... man this day really sucks so far.

I tap Bree and Kat on the shoulder and whisper, "do you guys wanna chill outside while we're waiting? I can't stand waiting in here."
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Sun Aug 31, 2008 6:30 pm

I was closing my eyes, hoping to fall asleep to waste the day away when Rana came and tapped me on the shoulder and asked me to come outside with her. I was out of there in two milliseconds. literally. I was already sick of this place, and some fresh air would do me good.

Rana followed me, and Chace and Bree followed not long after. I was surprised to see that Chace came too, and he looked just as uncomfortable as I did in there.

We picked out a spot near the parking lot where there was a patch of grass, and the four of us sat down together. I put my ipod back into my pocket, leaned back, and stared up at the sky. It was still very early, and the sun was just now coming up. I sighed, taking in the sweet smell of spring. Fresh air was definitely a good thing. I did not think I could stand another minute in that room--it was messing with everyone's sanity... i just had to get out. I thanked Rana for getting me out of there, and she grinned.
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Sonia Cullen
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Sun Aug 31, 2008 10:21 pm

"Wait!!!!" I screamed as I ran out of my car. I could hear Jake behind me, still driving, screaming about how normal people didn't just jump out of moving vehicles, but I didn't really care. All of my family was here but me, and they didn't look very happy. Something was up- I could tell by their expressions. Not to mention the ummm... explicit noises coming from inside the broom shed. Blocking the last bit from my mind, I scurried after Rana, Kathryn, Chase, and Bree. I looked at them, hurt. "An important family meeting and your forget to invite me?" I asked, clucking my tongue in disappointment.

Kathryn looked slightly embarrassed. "Well, you know," she started, but broke off, blushing.

Bree took over. "Well, Sonia, this was to talk about our... sex life."

I stared blankly at her for a second before I understood. "You think I have no sex life." I breathed. "YOU THINK I HAVE NO SEX LIFE!!!!"

Bree backed up looking freaked out. "Well, you look 13," she muttered.

"But I'm MARRIED!!"

Chase stared blankly at a wall. He was obviously not enjoying this conversation. Rana narrowed here eyes at me. "Wait," she mumbled accusingly. "Wait! Are you saying that- that- that- you and Jake..."

Now it was my turn to blush. "Well," I said, "no- no, not exactly... Well, do I LOOK like I have kids?"

Bree started to respond, but before she could Chase broke in. "The point is, we're trying to get away from that," he said, pointing at the broom shed. "Lets go."
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Miss Bree Cullen
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Sun Aug 31, 2008 11:07 pm

I rolled my eyes "Chace. Honey we can't go anywhere."

He stopped "Why not?"

"The 'Doctor' will want to see all of us." Kat replied and ran her hand through her hair nervously.

I nodded and turned to my Aunt "Besides, you have to fill out the 'amazing' form."

Rana sighed and leaned against the wall, "It was so wrong."

"But so right." My dad came out behind us.

"Oh for god's sake." I hissed and Chace hugged me "Shh. It'll be fine."

I glared at my Dad "What did you bring out the whole laughing bergade?"

He stared at me for a second "Er. What?"

Kat sighed "Never mind."

Kellan came out after a few more minutes of silence.

"Damn. That was good." He high fived Dad.

"ARG." I cried and burried my head into Chace's chest.

Kellan probably looked at me funny. I knew my Dad was.

I heard another pair of footsteps come out and then Edward's velvet voice.

"You left in a hurry." He noted. I had no idea who he was talking to.

Chace's body moved as he replied, so it must have been him "Yeah. I didn't feel the need to stay in there."

Kat added "It wasn't getting any prettier."

A bad smell hit me. The werewolf was here.

"Dammit. Sonia, normal people don't jump out of moving CARS." He told her sternly.

There wasn't an answer.

Of course I couldn't see what she did. I was hiding. People could see me. But I was hiding.

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Mother in law of - Ben and James
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Sonia Cullen
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Sun Aug 31, 2008 11:21 pm

"Meh" I told Jake, then turned to face Bree. "Well, I guess we better go and get this form. After all, how bad could it be?"

***

The form was BAD.

As in horrible bad. Disturbingly bad. VOLTURI BAD.

But as hard to look at the form was, it was even harder to fill it out.

1. Your sexiest feature

What the hell kind of question was that???
my sexiest feature would have to be.... I stopped and glanced at Jake. He seemed to have no problem filling it out. I sighed and looked back at the paper. My legs. Is that weird?

2. The physical feature for which you are most complimented

My hair. It is LONG


3. A place you have always wanted to make love

Ummmm...

In a motel after my prom night. But that will NEVER happen. Seeing as I was changed before I got to high school, let alone the prom.

4. A wonderful place you have made love

Never. N/A


5. A strange place where you have made love

NEVER. N/A


6. A special place on your body that, when kissed or touched, feels unbelievably good

Oh. My. God. N/A


7. An Unfullfilled sex fantasy

Actually having sex. Yeah, that would be an accomplishment.

N/A

8. a Fulfilled sex fantasy

N/A

9. A person you regret sleeping with

N/A


10. A person you regret not sleeping with

Jake!!!!! N/A

11. An uninhibited lover you have been with

Where are they getting these questions??? N/A


12. Sex is...

Something I would like to have before I turn 400.
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Sun Aug 31, 2008 11:36 pm

Now this??? This was fun.

Sonia was fidgeting and glancing at me nervously. I felt a wide grin spread across my face at her panic filled expression.

1. Your sexiest feature
I am completely Sexy.
2. The physical feature for which you are most complimented
My chiseled chest
3. A place you have always wanted to make love
Anywhere
4. A wonderful place you have made love
On the beach
5. A strange place where you have made love
N/A
6. A special place on your body that, when kissed or touched, feels unbelievably good
Yeah. Like I'd tell you.
7. An Unfullfilled sex fantasy
Guess.
8. a Fulfilled sex fantasy
Oh, please. Again, guess.
9. A person you regret sleeping with
Leah.
10. A person you regret not sleeping with
Sonia
11. An uninhibited lover you have been with
N/A
12. Sex is...
Great.
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klutzs rule!!
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Mon Sep 01, 2008 9:37 am

I remained on the ground while Sonia and Jake went in to get the forms. I was NOT going back in there until it was my turn to meet the doc. Besides, something was bothering me.

Why did they make ME come, yet not Sonia, when Sonia was MARRIED, and i have been single for all 300 some odd years of my life? It just did not make sense to me.

I had to feel sorry for poor Sonia and Jake... well, more like Sonia. Jake would not have too much trouble with those..... but Sonia would probably be very disturbed by those questions (like I was). I bet we had similar answers for half of them too--N/A.

I waited outside while Kellan, Edward, and the rest of the "adults" went back inside. Bree was hiding, though we could all see her, and Chace was rolling his eyes, though he looked genuinely concerned about Bree. Rana sat next to be, and before long, Sonia and Jake came back out and sat down too.

I decided to listen to what was going on inside, instead of blocking it out, like before, and i instantly regretted it. Explicit noises were still coming from that closet, the family was going insane very rapidly, and I caught an extremely dirty comment that Edward made. Sheesh, something was wrong with this... what was going on? After 5 seconds of listening, i had enough. I got my ipod out again and put the earbuds back into my ears, loud enough to drown out inside, but soft enough that i could still hear if anyone outside said anything.
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Larai
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Mon Sep 01, 2008 10:29 am

Well, looks my brilliant plan to get away from part of the family didn't go so well.

Kat looks bored out of her mind; she starts listening to her music again.

I see Bree pop her head out for a second but she immediantly puts it back in when her Dad started to talk.

Sonia and Jake where talking with each other about the form. Sonia still looks really embarrassed about it.

I want to tell her that it's all cool. That, like her and Kat, my sex life was pretty non-existent; cause you can't really do it when you have a human boyfriend, who so conviently couldn't come to this little pow-wow because he had to "work" today.

Instead I call him up to past the time. He answers on the second ring. We talk for a while but before I hang up, I make some lame excuse that something really important happened and that he must be here to help me. If I was going to be stuck here, so was he. I smile to myself in victory when he said he'd come.

I look around me and see that everyone is pretty much doing the same thing as before-boooring!

"OH! Hey everyone! I have an idea! Let's play a game!!' Razz Razz Razz I yell to my family.
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Mon Sep 01, 2008 1:22 pm

Well, things were kinda falling apart outside, so after Rana finished calling up her boyfriend, she decided we should play a game to help pass the time. After all, we were bored out of our wits!

So, we all sat down and tried to come up with a game that we could play. Truth or dare was suggested, but I shot that one down right away. I avoid that game like the plague.

THen, i realized that I had a deck of cards in my pocket. I pulled them out.

"Card game, anyone?"

I checked my watch again.

20 minutes down, 11 hours and 40 minutes to go. It would probably take that long.
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Sonia Cullen
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Mon Sep 01, 2008 1:39 pm

"Cards it is," Bree said, looking relieved that T or D had been shot down so quickly. We had been playing for only a few minutes before Aluna, Jackson, Alice, and Tom came out, all grinning.

"That was fun!" Aluna chirped.

"I wouldn't call it fun," Tom disagreed. "Interesting, yes. Fun, no."

Rana stood up and headed to meet them. "How was it?" she asked in a tone that suggested she didn't really want to know.

Aunt Alice winked at her. "You'll see," she remarked, which for some reason made the other three burst out laughing. I had to contain myself from rolling my eyes. Kathryn looked like she was about to throw up, if that was possible.

The doctor stood outside, looked around, and called for Emmett, Brandy, Bree, and Chace. I looked at Bree, feeling sorry for her. "Ooooh, tough luck." Jake muttered, and Bree glared at him.
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Mon Sep 01, 2008 1:51 pm

I smirk a little.

I feel bad for my cousin, Bree, to be subject of this torture, but I'm just really relieved that I don't have to go yet. Besides, Jensen's not here to suffer with me.

After Emmett and Brandy, and then Bree and Chase left everyone made a semi-circle on the floor.

"How about we play poker?" Jake asks.

"NO! I hate that game!" I say venemetely.

"Okayy how about B.S.?" Kat asks.

We all agreed that that would be alright; though we soon remembered that playing cards with Edward sucks.

"B.S.!" Edward says smugly to Jacob as Jake picks up the pile that had accumilated.

"That's it! I am not playing cards with Edward anymore, he always cheats!" Jake yells.

We all had to agree that it was sorta unfair, yet also funny; especially when Jacob felt Edwad's 'wrath.'
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Mon Sep 01, 2008 4:44 pm

Me, my Mama, my dad and my husband were the 'second' group to go in.

"Hello." The doctor greeted us and we sat down.

Dad was making snorting noises. Mama was talking to fast.

I curled up on Chace's lap and he stroked my hair, while he murmured "It'll be fine."

I sighed and buried my head in his chest again.

"Well. I see your answers are fairly normal...except yours, Emmett."

Dad laughed "I know."

"Anthing you would like to share?" the doctor asked him, for some reason he sounded concerned.

"If you want my love life all you have to do is read the form." Dad replied.

Mama hit him "Emmett..." she warned him.

"No. It's alright, Brandy."

I came out of my hiding and looked at the doctor "Excuse me?" I asked him.

He nodded "Go ahead Bree."

"Alright? Did you just ask my Dad if he was alright?" My eyes widened.

The doctor nodded again "Yes."

Mama sighed.

"Are you serious. You can't be serious. My dad being alright." I shook my head. "No sorry. That doesn't work."

Chace laughed quietly, too quiet for the doctor to hear.

Dad sighed dramatically "I'm fine. I have fun."

"TMI, dad." I shuddered "Excuse me. May I go to the bathroom?" I stood up and walked out of the room.

I ran outside and sank into the circle.

Kat looked at me "Bree?"

I took a deep breath and shuddered "No. I am not going back into that room."

Rana laughed, Jensen came out of the alley.

"Jensen!" Rana jumped up and hugged him. He laughed and hugged her back.

I took another breath and leaned against the building while murmuring "No way. No way."

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Mother in law of - Ben and James
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Chace
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Mon Sep 01, 2008 4:57 pm

I looked down and then at the opened door.

"Well then." Brandy murmured, then she added "She won't be coming back."

I winced. This was great. The 'doctor' wasn't going to let me go. I could feel it.

"Very well. Now Chace, the form you filled out was acceptable." he continued.

I tried to recall what I had written.

1. Your sexiest feature
My hair, eyes and face.
2. The physical feature for which you are most complimented
My hair. Bree loves it.
3. A place you have always wanted to make love
Uh. Somewhere...
4. A wonderful place you have made love
On the beach
5. A strange place where you have made love
The hallway. Closet.
6. A special place on your body that, when kissed or touched, feels unbelievably good
I don't think this concerns anyone..
7. An Unfullfilled sex fantasy
My mind only..
8. a Fulfilled sex fantasy
Being with Bree. Of course.
9. A person you regret sleeping with
Anna-Marie
10. A person you regret not sleeping with
N/A
11. An uninhibited lover you have been with
Bree
12. Sex is...
Nothing that concerns you.


Ah. Number nine. Anna Marie. Yeah that was a long time ago. Before I had even met Bree. That was a bad day I was having.

"Er thanks." I shifted nervously.

Emmett laughed again.

"Emmett, shut up before I slaughter you." Brandy hissed, again too quiet.

He laughed again and the doctor raised his eyebrows.

"Mr. Cullen, anything that I should know about?" He asked.

Emmett laughed "Unless you can deal with my wife and killing me."

"Er. What?" the doctor was stunned. I sat there quietly. Maybe I would be forgotten.

"Never mind. My husband has an active imagination." Brandy replied.

Wrong thing to say.

"Active? As in SEX active." The doctor asked curiously.

Was he seriously interested in our sex life? I breathed out and tried to look out the door, which unfortunatly had been shut again.

"Yes. As in SEX." Emmett replied.

Bree was lucky to have not have been here.

"Care to tell me more?" The doctor asked.

"I love it. It's fun. And it makes me happy." Emmett let out a booming laugh again.

I wanted to gag. Being in a room, alone with my wife's parent's was slightly horrible. Especially her father.

The doctor was writing this down.

"Yes. Yes. Keep going."

This was bad. I had to get out. This doctor was like a. Well he needed the therapy. Not us.

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Alu Rathbone
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Mon Sep 01, 2008 5:54 pm

(I WASN'T DONE IN THE DOCTORS OFFICE BUT THATS OKAY!!!)

"We have to go in for another session." Jackson told Jasper. "That should be entertaining."

"No." I said.

"I believe it will be." Jackson said with a chuckle.

"What did Alice and Tom have on their sheets?" Jasper asked. Why?

"Don't know yet, but apparently the doctor is going to pass the sheets out... and they won't go to the right person... then we will get to see each others papers..."

"This sucks!" I said walking out the door and down the hall.

"Oh henry!"

I open up the broom cupboard and see Dasha and Henry in a compromising position. I quickly slammed the door and ran the other way.

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Alu Rathbone... Blood sweeter then wine, with just a hint of morphine.
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Mon Sep 01, 2008 5:59 pm

Bree sprinted out of the room and sat down in the circle where we were playing cards. She looked frantic, like going back in there was the last thing she wanted to do. I gave her a quick hug and watched Rana tackle Jensen.

If i knew Chace, then he was probably very, very uncomfortable in there. Especially with Emmett. That would DEFINITELY be an interesting conversation...

But Bree settled in and we played a round of war, so Edward could not cheat. Jake won the game, and it ate up a lot of time.

While all this was happening, Mom, Dad, Aluna, and Jackson all kept sharing looks, as if they were the only ones that were in on a secret or something. I knew it was about what had happened to Bree in there. I shuddered. I hoped I would be mysteriously overlooked, since I was single.

Aluna, Jackson, mom, and dad had to go back for another session. I wondered what they had on their sheets....
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Mon Sep 01, 2008 7:22 pm

"Emmett?" I asked Bree when she came out, looking about to cry. She nodded. My brother in law was going to answer to me after he finished his session, no matter what Brandy said. I guess Edward heard my thoughts, because he laughed quietly. I glared at him and he was silent.

Kathryn looked worried. "I hope I don't have to go in with anyone like Emmett..." she murmured. Was it my imagination or did her eyes flit to Jake? Oh my gosh. What did Jake write????

My thoughts were broken off with Chace returning to our little circle. He shook his head, looking annoyed. "That doctor needs therapy, not us," he muttered angrily. Jake nodded in agreement. "I hear you, man. Those questions? WOW."

The doctor came out with a wide smile. "Kathryn? Twirls? Jim? You're up."
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