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 Family Therapy

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Alu Rathbone
Et je te ferais boire quand tu seras triste.
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Location : With Jackson and his guitar watching the full moon rise from behind the trees.

PostSubject: Family Therapy   Wed Aug 27, 2008 7:24 pm

(there will be references to fanfic i once read.... if i find the link i'll post it!)

"Why are we here?" I asked. The entire family sat in the small waiting area waiting to go into the conference room.

"To work out all our differences." Grandfather said.

"Why?" Jackson said. "None of us have issues."

"Speak for yourself..." I snorted. "Aluna and Jackson in a box!" I remembered when he asked for that as his rank... the boy has issues.

"Issues are not the problem." Nana stated. "Its the fact that we are not always together as a family and when we are... the drama!"

"And all the sex talk... it needs to stop." Mom said.

So we sat there in the tiny little waiting room. The entire family sitting there waiting till the doctor was ready to see us.

It was only a few more moments till we were ushered into a huge conference room.

"Dr. Dover will be in to see you in a moment." Annie the Secretary said.

"Dr. Benjiman Dover." Jackson read on the wall.

"Ben Dover!" Kellan started laughing histerically. "NICE!"

"Sit down, Kellan." Grandfather said.

We all took a seat in one of the Ultra nice leather office chairs. As soon as we did. Dr. Dover came in.

"Thank you for seeing us Ben." Carlisle (grandfather) stood up and shook the shrinks hand.

"No problem, Dr. Cullen." He sat down and took out some papers and passed them around. We all looked at the sheet.

Talking About Sex and the Drama It Causes It was a page of questions that we each had to fill out apparently.

"If you would all please fill that out so that when i am ready for private couples sessions we can focus on that first... and get that out of the way." He said as he pushed us all a pen.

I was certain he just pulled these questions from a book and slapped a title at the top!

But I read.

1. Your sexiest feature
2. The physical feature for which you are most complimented
3. A place you have always wanted to make love
4. A wonderful place you have made love
5. A strange place where you have made love
6. A special place on your body that, when kissed or touched, feels unbelievably good
7. An Unfullfilled sex fantasy
8. a Fulfilled sex fantasy
9. A person you regret sleeping with
10. A person you regret not sleeping with
11. An uninhibited lover you have been with
12. Sex is...


"Who wrote this?" Mom asked a bit disgusted.

"I'm not sure. I'll be back after you have all completed this." He said smiling and walking out the door.

"Might as well." I said.

_________________


Michael Buble, crooning and stealing your women since... Forever...

Yeah... he's that important!

Alu Rathbone... Blood sweeter then wine, with just a hint of morphine.


Last edited by Alunamai on Wed Sep 03, 2008 12:24 am; edited 2 times in total
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Miss Bree Cullen
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Wed Aug 27, 2008 10:06 pm

I was in hysterics. Inside myself of course. I was showing no emotion until the Doctor left.

I snorted. "Do I really have to fill this out?" I asked Auntie, Chace wrapped his arms around me.
I shifted and turned to Alu. "Why are we here?"

"To work out our differences. And issues." Nana Bella stated again.

I sighed "Do I really have to fill this out? I mean sex life? Seriously?"

Kellan snickered.

"Shut up Kellan." Twirls said sharply.

"Again why are all like thirty of us here?" Brooke asked. Doing a quick count of heads I was guessing.

I shrugged and whispered. Not that it did anything, "To work out our differences and issues."

"Issues what issues?" Jackson asked again "We h-"

"Aluna and Jackson in a box." Aluna mumbled.

Emmett laughed.

"Only you would find that funny dad." I rolled my eyes.

"I found it amusing." Jackson replied.

"Oh god." I sighed.

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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Thu Aug 28, 2008 12:22 pm

I looked down at the form I was presented, trying to contain my laughter.

"This is wrong in so many ways."

"Here here," Auntie Dasha remarked.

Joe wrapped his arm around my waist, but I took it off.

"I'm still mad at you. Don't think that I forgot that you cheated on me with a guy."

He was quiet. A heard a snicker.

"Kellan, I swear to god, if you laugh one more time-"

"It wasn't me!"

"Then who was it? The statue in the corner? A ghost? The tooth fairy? Bart Simpson?" I rambled, going loony.

"It was Emmett!!" He screamed.

"Dude, I thought we had a deal!" Emmett said, hopeless.

"Oh, well that changes everything..." I said, as I started to get up.

"Mindy! Control your temper!" Mommy yelled at me, "This is a doctor's office. Behave."

I pouted and sat back down. I read the last line of the questionnaire aloud.

"Sex is..." I burst into a fit of laughter.
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Chace
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Thu Aug 28, 2008 1:05 pm

I shook my head at Mindy.

"Mind you have got to watch your temper." Bree told her and looked back down at the paper.
"This is distgusting." She moaned.

I laughed and held her close "It'll be okay." I murmured into her ear.

"That's what you think." Bree replied softly.

"Is fun." Dad shouted.

"Oh grow up dad." Bree muttered.

"I was answering Mindy's question." He replied.

"It wasn't a question. I was stating what the question said." She snapped.

"Ew." Bree shuddered. I could see she wasn't wanting to think about it.

"What it's not-" Emmett started.

"Don't finish it dad. Seriously." Bree dug her elbow into his gut. I smirked.

He winced "Alright."

"Behave you guys." Bella hissed.

"She started it." Kellan exclaimed.

"Kellan." Alice wacked him with the paper.

"Arg. We can-"

"No now shut up." Tab wacked him with her hand.

"Mama. Dad's being distgusting." Bree complained to her mom.

Brandy shook her head sadly.

Mindy was glaring resentfully at Joe and muttering under her breath.

"Mindy. Sorry." He pleaded.

"Don't want to hear it." She responded

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Love is what keeps us together.
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Alu Rathbone
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Thu Aug 28, 2008 3:04 pm

"I don't have issues. You have issues!" Jackson said.

"Aluna and Jackson in a box!" I said. "WHO SAYS THAT?!"

"I do."

"Pfft"

"Sex is?" Dad went. "That will be fun to answer. As will the rest of the questions."

"Dad!" one of my sisters said looking at him.

"I've changed my mind... this is fantastic!" Mom siad smiling.

"It's a way to discuss our problems." Nana said.

"We don't have problems." Jackson said. I was tired of objecting to him.

"An unfulfilled fantasy... hmmm..." Emmettt and Kellan said at the same time.

_________________


Michael Buble, crooning and stealing your women since... Forever...

Yeah... he's that important!

Alu Rathbone... Blood sweeter then wine, with just a hint of morphine.
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Larai
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Thu Aug 28, 2008 5:31 pm

My whole family either thought this 'family theropy' was either hilarious or unnecassary.

I glance at the paper and then look around sheepishly.

"Um.. Mom? What if... well what if you've never...." I trail off, grateful that I can't blush. "You know what, never mind!" I say quickly. "Just forget I said anything!"

Please? I plead inwardly.

Mom smiles at me. "Rana, you know it's perfectly fine if you've never had sex before. Just fill out what you can, like your fantasies!"

I can hear some of my family members snickering at me, but I just stare at Mom.

"How embarrassing." I hear someone whisper.

Well this doesn't suck at all.

Just then the doctor walks back in. "So how are we all doing right now?"
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Alu Rathbone
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Thu Aug 28, 2008 6:16 pm

"None of us have filled it out." I said. "yet."

"Do we have to?" came a chorus of family.

"Yes." and then he left.

"WTF!" some one yelled.

"I like these questions... i could get pretty creative with them." Dad said.

"We know." us Delonge girls laughed.

_________________


Michael Buble, crooning and stealing your women since... Forever...

Yeah... he's that important!

Alu Rathbone... Blood sweeter then wine, with just a hint of morphine.
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Thu Aug 28, 2008 11:28 pm

"What does uninhibited mean?" I asked, laughing a little. Everyone glared at me.

"Mindy...do you like drawing attention to yourself?" G-Nana asked, pincing the bridge of her nose.

"I just want to know uninhibited means! Gosh," I complained, slumping back in my seat. Joe reached for me but I slapped his hand away.

"I will let you touch me when you turn staright again. Also when you learn to accept the genius that is 'What Happens in Vegas'!" I yelled at him under my breath. I huffed, and began to fill out the form, giggling as I wrote down every answer.
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Jackson Rathbone
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Fri Aug 29, 2008 12:05 am

So what. I liked the phrase aluna and jackson in a box... so sue me. That doesn't mean i have issues. I am a perfectly normal functioning Vampire.

But these questions are quite entertaining. I shall have fun with these. Now... how to answer some of them...
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Dasha Cavill
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Fri Aug 29, 2008 3:26 am

OMG! What the hell was this?!

"Mom! I don't think this is such a good idea."

"I didn't think of this."

"I really don't want to do this!"

"Come now, hon. You can do this." Henry reassured me by wrapping his arms around me.

"Oh all right..."

I stared at the form in my hand.

"Need help?" Henry asked me jokingly.

I stuck my tongue out at him and mvoed away from him to sit in a corner alone.

"1. Your sexiest feature"

Oh why do I even bother?!
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Alu Rathbone
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Fri Aug 29, 2008 3:38 am

"Well, might as well start filling this out." I said as i started to fill out the questionair. I could hear Kellan and Emmett in a corner together filling it out... laughing like maniacs. Wow.

Jackson, who was shaking with laughter, was beside me filling his out. I was wary of his answers.

1. Your sexiest feature

Eyes.

In all actuality they were... but to a human... all of me!

2. The physical feature for which you are most complimented

My body... but thats from the humans... from everyone else... my hair... and my eyes.. and from Jackson... my boobs... but thats jackson...

3. A place you have always wanted to make love

Hmmmm... how to answer that one... I guess i would have to say...

Middle of the forest real late at night...

4. A wonderful place you have made love

My bed... with Jackson... anywhere I make love is wonderful if jackson is involved.

5. A strange place where you have made love

The Cemetary... real late at night... (don't ask)
6. A special place on your body that, when kissed or touched, feels unbelievably good

Neck and my sides... and bites on the shoulder... (again... don't ask...)

7. An Unfullfilled sex fantasy

Wouldn't you like to know...

8. a Fulfilled sex fantasy

Again, wouldn't you like to know

9. A person you regret sleeping with

Marco
10. A person you regret not sleeping with

Robert

11. An uninhibited lover you have been with

Jackson

12. Sex is...

Love making with the man you love.... less your a man.. then with the woman you love...


I finished filling it out and sighed a sigh of relief. Jackson.. was grinning ear to ear... I was alsmost terriefied to knwo what he put down on his... I would find out soon enough.

_________________


Michael Buble, crooning and stealing your women since... Forever...

Yeah... he's that important!

Alu Rathbone... Blood sweeter then wine, with just a hint of morphine.
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Fri Aug 29, 2008 10:16 am

"To fill it out or not to fill it out...that is the question," I said to myself. I tried to put a serious face on as I begun to really fill it out:

1. Your sexiest feature

Uhhhhhhhhh.....my.....I dunno. I'll just put eyes.

2. The physical feature for which you are most complimented

Uhhhh...my awesome pink hair Very Happy

3. A place you have always wanted to make love

Somewhere over the rainbow....way up high

4. A wonderful place you have made love

The closet

5. A strange place where you have made love

The closet

6. A special place on your body that, when kissed or touched, feels unbelievably good

OH MY GOD, MY LIPS. ISN'T THAT UNUSUAL?!!!

7. An Unfullfilled sex fantasy

*cough*Having sex with someone who's straight*cough*

8. a Fulfilled sex fantasy

NOTHING

9. A person you regret sleeping with

*cough*Joe*cough*

10. A person you regret not sleeping with

I can't tell you...because then Nana would murder me.

11. An uninhibited lover you have been with

What does unihibited mean?

12. Sex is...

AN ALL NIGHT ROMP WHE YOU'RE TOTALLY OUT OF IT AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING!!!! (at least that was what was going on when I had it)
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Miss Bree Cullen
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Fri Aug 29, 2008 10:27 am

I pouted. I didn't want to fill this out. My dad was like...mocking me. This was great. We just had to bring Dad and Kellan. Oh yeah what a plan.

"Twirlss." I whined and looked over her shoulder, "You've been staring at that paper for a really, really long time. What's up?"

"Erm. Ah. I." She shook her head and blinked "It's so wrong. Why are-" she winced.

I looked at Nana Bella "Nana, Why are we here? Seriously. Not for our problems. Sex isn't part of our problems..." I winced.

Chace laughed and wrapped his arms tighter around my, breathing softly into my eye. That was distracting.

"Oh it is. Apparently." Mic snorted.

I laughed at her "Sure Mic. Sure."

I glanced back down at the paper and handed one to Chace. "Get filling it out." I muttered.
He laughed again and pecked me on my cheek before leaving with Jim.

I sighed and looked at Twirls who was still staring at it. "Twirls. Come on. Make up answers alright. The doctor creeps me out and I want to go home."

1. Your sexiest feature
I stared at this question. My sexiest feature? You've got to be kidding me. I'm a vampire.
I wrote down what mine was when I was human. But then of course it wasn't 'sexiest' it was more or less beautiful.

Eyes...


2. The physical feature for which you are most complimented
Where were they getting their questions from? And why did we have to fill them out.
I sighed and looked at it again.
Almost everything about me. My eyes mostly.

3. A place you have always wanted to make love
This one I let out a groan. God. Me? Well everyone.
Is this really necessary?

4. A wonderful place you have made love
I wanted to cry. This was ridiculous.
the bed... where else?

5. A strange place where you have made love
Yeah. Lots. But I wasn’t telling the doctor that.
Probably in the kitchen
and various places around the house....

6. A special place on your body that, when kissed or touched, feels unbelievably good
mostly my neck. Yeah. My neck.


7. An Unfullfilled sex fantasy
I almost snorted. Yeah right.

something I know and you’ll never find out. Unless you’re Edward. But in that case he dies before he tells anyone...

8. a Fulfilled sex fantasy
Again. You. Will. Never.Know

9. A person you regret sleeping with
Oh man. This was going to be bad. Ellie was going to kill me for this one. That was not a good night. But I technically wasn’t sleeping with him. He was comforting. And oddly persuasive.
Steven


10. A person you regret not sleeping with
No one. I only love Chace.



11. An uninhibited lover you have been with
Chace. Chace Chace. Erm I’ll stop.


12. Sex is...
Something that means a lot. And shiz. So don’t do it before you are ready, or with someone you HATE

I sighed as I finished my ‘assignment’.

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Mother in law of - Ben and James
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Fri Aug 29, 2008 1:36 pm

I sat there, staring at the paper. I saw Twirlz doing the same thing, and Rana seemed just as uncomfortable with this as I was. After all, I had never.... I was single without having ever had a boyfriend, and some of the "easy" answers I had no answer for either. I have never had any "fantasies" that I could put down or anything....

I really did not get why we had to do this. I mean, it was not like this was our big problem. And Rana and I both had no need of being here, really.... but oh well. I would do it for Mom.

I sighed. Time to fill out the stupid sheet, like it or not.

1. Your sexiest feature

well, i would not exactly consider anything about myself SEXY, per se, but oh well.... i contemplated before putting down my eyes. I knew the rest of the family would put the same, it was a generic vampire answer. Plus, my eyes were very strange, with just a freckle of a brownish hazel color near the pupil.

2. The physical feature for which you are most complimented

being a vampire and all, you would think that this would be easy, and I could just put everything.... but the truth is, the answer for me was easy... in a different way. I put down, "hair. was complimented on it twice."

3. A place you have always wanted to make love

this was when I had no answers... I always thought more about marriage then the part that came after... so i just put a simple n/a. I knew i would get some incredulous looks for that one, and that no one would believe me, but I figured I would go with honesty.

4. A wonderful place you have made love

n/a

5. A strange place where you have made love

n/a

6. A special place on your body that, when kissed or touched, feels unbelievably good

absolutely no clue

7. An Unfullfilled sex fantasy

again, though i knew no one would believe me, i put n/a.

8. a Fulfilled sex fantasy

My sheet was going to be very boring to this guy. n/a

9. A person you regret sleeping with

n/a

10. A person you regret not sleeping with

n/a

11. An uninhibited lover you have been with

n/a

12. Sex is...

"something that I have NEVER had, and I intend to wait for until after marriage." maybe a bit blunt, and i sound like a very religious person saying it, but it is not on my current to do list. oh well. I am one of the older vampires, but I still am waiting for the right person.
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Mrs. DeLonge
Alice Cullen + Tom Delonge + both their crazy gene = crazy sex addicted children...
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Fri Aug 29, 2008 3:10 pm

I knew it was crazy, but my parents really thought it was necessary. I didn't wanted them to know that Tom and I had a ... "passionate relationship" I'd say ... or that we were both what we'd call ..."sex addicts" so I decided to play along by making people think that I was agreeing with my parents but I truly thought it was insane. None of us needed a doctor ...

My mother was proud to think that I was agreeing with her while everyone else was complaining. Tom knew I wa faking and was looking at me from the side from time to time, letting a chuckle escaping his lips.

When I first read the question, i had to fight not to laugh. I was glad that this form wasn't gonna be shared to the other members of our family (or was it? Wink). Everyone, but especially my parents would be chocked of my answers ... or of Tom's. I laughed at the thought of Tom's answers, which made me earn a couple of weird looks. So I took my attention back to the form and I started to fill it out.

1. Your sexiest feature
My lips ... Tom had told me numerous times.

2. The physical feature for which you are most complimented
My eyes... of course that everyone was surprised by my gold eyes ..

3. A place you have always wanted to make love
This was a hard question for me ... in a fitting room

4. A wonderful place you have made love
On a beach in Key West, on the white sand.

5. A strange place where you have made love
In a photobooth ... Oh no! In Aro's bed! ... I thought about the doctor, at his reaction while he would read our answers. Poor Dr I thought.

6. A special place on your body that, when kissed or touched, feels unbelievably good
My neck.

7. An Unfullfilled sex fantasy
None that I could think of ... so far all my fantasies were fullfielld ... My husband is Tom DeLonge!

8. a Fulfilled sex fantasy
Just one? ... mm ... In the cockpit of a plane.

9. A person you regret sleeping with
None, I had slept with only two persons. Two children resulted of my relationship with the first one so I could never regret it.

10. A person you regret not sleeping with
None ... my husbad is perfect.

11. An uninhibited lover you have been with
TOM

12. Sex is...
wild one day and sensual an other.

When I was done I looked up at Tom who was grinning like crazy. When i saw my father turning his head toward us I shot warning looks at Tom who stopped grinning immediatly and went back to being (falsely) serious. I chuckled earning once again weird looks.

I wanted to read Tom's answers so bad. I knew Tom was very creative, espcially when it was about sex.

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Alu Rathbone
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Fri Aug 29, 2008 4:27 pm

(I have to laugh... MOM YOUR GREAT! CAN'T WAIT TO SEE DADDIES ANSWERS!)

I sat back and stared at teh rest of the room. Every one was now filling out the questionair. YEs with out complaint but... not exactly happy.

Dr. Dover came in then and took his seat at teh head of the conference table.

"Are we done?"" He asked. Every one just threw their paper at him and then we waited.

"Well, tom, you a have an interesting Sex life."

Dad beamed. Mom looked embarrased... though i knew that if Nana and Grandfather were not here, she wouldn't have cared.

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Alu Rathbone... Blood sweeter then wine, with just a hint of morphine.
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Fri Aug 29, 2008 6:57 pm

Dr. Dover started flipping through the rest of the papers. He made a few funny faces, which was highly unprofessional of him, but then again, can you blame the guy? That would be a lousy job, having to read this junk. Then again, he asked for it with that questionnare....

He cleared his throat and looked around. He stared at me, and then shook his head.

"Kathryn, for this to do any good, I will need for you to be honest when answering these questions."

Ugh. it was worse than I imagined. I knew he would not believe me... shrinks never do. I still did not get why I had to do this, but I played along for my mother's sake.

"Um... That IS the truth!"

"Now Kathryn, you know that it is perfectly normal at your age to think about --"

I cut him off. Nana gave me a reproving look, but I was not going to be accused of lying.

"Um, that is most definitely the truth. If you want, I can make up a bunch of hooey, but if you are looking for the truth, you have it right there."

He sighed, resigning to the fact that that was all he was going to get from me, and went back to looking through. He made a very offhand comment about Alice and Tom's relationship, but he did not reveal what was on Dad's sheet... I had to wonder....
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Alu Rathbone
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Fri Aug 29, 2008 7:18 pm

"Jackson, do you honestly want me to believe that you and your wife have... you know what... never mind." Dr. Dover said as he continued to go through them. "It seems to me... that the only set of you with a some what ... shall i say... healthy love life... are Dr. Cullen and Mrs. Cullen."

"Thats a lie." Emmett snickered.

"But alas... we must stary therapy somewhere." He said and he stared directly at Jackson and I and then mom and dad. "I'll do this in groups of four... Alice, Tom, Alunamai, and Jackson, please step into my office. The rest of you are allowed to stay here."

Oh god.

_________________


Michael Buble, crooning and stealing your women since... Forever...

Yeah... he's that important!

Alu Rathbone... Blood sweeter then wine, with just a hint of morphine.
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Fri Aug 29, 2008 7:36 pm

Mom, Dad, Nana and Gpa got intot the doctor's office.

But I haven't filled my form out!

Great! Now everyone was done and it was just me answering.

God I hate this!

Even Henry was done! Gah!

I could feel someone staring at me.

Oh well here goes.

1. Your sexiest feature

Lips. They always look perfect.

2. The physical feature for which you are most complimented

My lips and my eyes

3. A place you have always wanted to make love

While bungy jumping.

4. A wonderful place you have made love

My extra big king sized bed, with flowing canopy, big pillows, rose petals, god u get the picture!

5. A strange place where you have made love

In a cave. (at night_)

6. A special place on your body that, when kissed or touched, feels unbelievably good

Toes

7. An Unfullfilled sex fantasy

Ummm... I dont wanna say...

8. a Fulfilled sex fantasy

It's my secret and I'M NOT TELLING!

9. A person you regret sleeping with

Ummm... Can't think of someone...

10. A person you regret not sleeping with

Ben

11. An uninhibited lover you have been with

Henry

12. Sex is...

A special thing between two people that is sacred. but can also be fun.esp if you're married!


I smiled as I finished.

Done at last!

I was about to hand in my paper when I heard someone laugh.

I turned and attacked!

"HOW DARE YOU LISTEN WHILE I ANSWERED!" I strangled Edward.

"I - Cnt - Help - It! - I - Heard - Eve - ry - one! - "

"Let him go, D" Henry said.

I did as I was told and let him go.

"That was very interesting D" Edward smirked.

"I'm gonna kill you!"
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Fri Aug 29, 2008 8:08 pm

"You know, I am quite interested in your answers." Dr. Dover said sitting down behind his desk. "The four of you have pretty active sex lives... though I could say the same for Emmett, Kellan, and Jasper."

"Nice." Jackson said laughing.

"Jackson." I said looking at him.

"I know a fantasy I didn't put down!" Jackson said excitedly.

"Jackson, calm yourself."

"But trust me... once we get rid of mom and dad... and the Doc... we can get busy on the desk!" Jackson said so fast taht only mom and dad understood what he said.

I jsut put my head in my hand and then shook it. "Why me?" I said.

"ITS NOT MY FAULT I CAN READ MINDS!!!!!"

"I CAN SEE WHY MY MOTHER DIVORCED YOU!" one of my sisters yelled.

"Can't you keep from reading our thoughts?" Bianca asked.

"No."

"WELL YOU SHOULD TRY!" All my sisters said together.

Emmett was howling with laughter and so was Kellan. I think I even heard Uncle Jasper laughing as well.

_________________


Michael Buble, crooning and stealing your women since... Forever...

Yeah... he's that important!

Alu Rathbone... Blood sweeter then wine, with just a hint of morphine.
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Fri Aug 29, 2008 11:15 pm

I went over to Edward and slapped him across the head, "That wasn't very nice, Edward. You're such a perv."

"Well, you had some pretty dirty thoughts about you-know-who earlier..." he remarked, braking into a fit of laugter.

"WHY YOU LITTLE..." Was all I said before I tackled hm to the ground, cupped my hands around his throat, and squeezed, Homer Simpson style, "I'LL TEACH YOU TO LAUGH AT SOMTHING THAT'S FUNNY!!!!!!"

Mommy and Auntie Dasha got up from their chairs and tried to pull me away, but my grip was too strong.

"Mindy!!! Stop!! You'll kill him!" They kept yelling over and over.

"He's already dead! What difference does it make?!" I screamed. I bet we were giving the doctor, who was all the way in the other room with 4 of us, a headache.
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Sat Aug 30, 2008 1:44 am

"Could you hold on a second, Doctor." I said raising a finger and getting up.

I walked out the door and grabbed Mindy by her neck. This took her by surprise and she let go of Edward. I dragged her over to a chair threw her in it and looked her in the eye.

"If you ever decide to beat on one of the family members again... I swear it will be the last time you do anything... ever again. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes." She said in a small voice. "Yes Nana."

I returned to the doctors office and sat down looking at the doctor as if nothing had just happened.

"Shall we continue?" I said looking at him.

_________________


Michael Buble, crooning and stealing your women since... Forever...

Yeah... he's that important!

Alu Rathbone... Blood sweeter then wine, with just a hint of morphine.
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Sat Aug 30, 2008 3:40 am

This was fun! Especially the looks on our innocent members! I felt evil for being such a perv.. but oh well! I had Alice! I looked at her and when she met my gaze I licked my lips looking down. She mouthed a 'now's not the right time' while chuckling. That's what I appriated the most with her, she never grew old. She stil had her same childish mentality though she could get the most serious of us all when it was needed.

When the doctor made a comment about our answers, Alice was embarrassed, I could understand that. We pretended being almost saints for so many years ... Her parents were so naive, if only they knew ... I smirked.

We were in the doctor's office now. So of all the family we were the most sexually active. I smiled feeling prouder than I had ever felt. I looked at Alice then, she was obviously bored and she had her head resting on the wall behind her, exposing her neck ... gosh she was sexy... *wild thoughts*.

I shook my head when I realized that Dr. Dover was talking.

________________________________________________________

My answers:

1. Your sexiest feature
My penis, for sure!

2. The physical feature for which you are most complimented
My ass ... I guess that Alice and my crazy fans can't take their eyes off of it. I smirked as I wrote my answer down, though I didn't appriciate that kind of reaction from the fans.

3. A place you have always wanted to make love
In my parents-in'law's. I knew it was too dangerous for me though, they would kill me (maybe us)à if we did.

4. A wonderful place you have made love
So many places that it's impossible to chose ... we had sex almost everywhere ...

5. A strange place where you have made love
Again so many places ... I guess that my wife's uncle's bed was the strangest place. Aro lives in the weirdest place.

6. A special place on your body that, when kissed or touched, feels unbelievably good
Is that a joke?! Where do you think?! mm .. too bad that my pants and (sometimes) underwears are in the way!

7. An Unfullfilled sex fantasy
None ... we always fullfill ours.

8. a Fulfilled sex fantasy
Too many ... but to name one.... once Alice had the sexiest costume ... she was dominatrix! I'll let you guess who I was!

9. A person you regret sleeping with
None .. I never met anyone before my wife.

10. A person you regret not sleeping with
None.

11. An uninhibited lover you have been with
Alice

12. Sex is...
WILD, CRAZY, ESSENTIAL, and most importantly a proof of love (in our case at least).

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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Sat Aug 30, 2008 4:00 am

"So do we get to hear one anothers answers?" I asked. I was eager to know what my husband put... not so eager to know what the nymphomaniacs beside us put.

"Yes, in due time." Dr. Dover said.

"Great!" I said.

"Nymphomaniacs! Thats them!" Edward laughed outside the room.

He was being uncharacteristicallly wierd today.

"Whose a nymphomaniac Edward?" Grandfather asked.

Oh no... he wouldn't would he?

_________________


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Yeah... he's that important!

Alu Rathbone... Blood sweeter then wine, with just a hint of morphine.
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PostSubject: Re: Family Therapy   Sat Aug 30, 2008 9:54 am

(omc gram! tom's answers are so funny XD)

We were all sitting around waiting for our turn in the doctor's office.

Most of the family is just having small conversations but Edward won't stop laughing. He's acting kinda strange today. Very strange.

But then again, it would be a weird feeling listening to your family's entire sex life. I couldn't help but laugh a little at Edward's predicament.

I turn my head to look at Dasha and Mic.

After taking one look at them I start laughing almost as loud as Edward. Those two were staring at him with a look that would probably freak Emmett out.

This is just too funny!
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